Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
