I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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