idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
