i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
did i walk over a car last night?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize