Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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