just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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