Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
