I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize