508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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