Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
