too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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