this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
