i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
