She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
not ubering you a puppy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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