We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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