I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i drank out of a bidet.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
