He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
