my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
