And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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