I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you still have your period?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
