So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
