Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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