when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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