A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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