we're chasing vodka with high fives
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
