this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
