dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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