Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
