honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
