it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
