Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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