the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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