I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
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i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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