I think I won the penis lottery.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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