do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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