So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
