It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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