I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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