Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
