I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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