There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize