I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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