I cockslap morals
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
