eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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