i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
A bitchslap is in order.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
