It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
