Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
