I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want nice things and good sex
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
