..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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