Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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