I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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