hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
