i permit you to call me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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