i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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