Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
