A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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