areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
