Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
