We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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