everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
