ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
