I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
