i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
