Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
