sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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